JUSTICE 101

Stefan · Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:47 pm Well, tomorrow I'll schmooze with Americans

My Swedish cousin, Kenneth, and his American family are visiting Sweden these days. I'll be visiting them tomorrow along with my sister and two other cousins tomorrow. I haven't met Kenneth for five years (since my visit in Denver in 2002) so I'm looking forward to it. There'll be a barbecue, beer, wine and entertaining family members. I'll probably discuss politics with my cousin's wife Laura, who's a die-hard Obama fan... I'll tell her Homer and MaineMan wishes her candidate the best of regards in 2008... ha, ha. :D

When will you people come to see me in Sweden, huh? I have a great town to show you. I mean it.

Beth · Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:01 am

I'll see what I can do about coming in the summer of 2008.

Barbecue? Isn't that illegal in your country?

The Shadow · Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:38 pm

Do the Swedes eat whale llike your neighbors do?

Stefan · Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:04 pm

No, we don't have access to any seas where we can hunt whales. We leave that to the Norwegians (and whenever they go after those poor, endangered animals, we let them know what we think about it).

I have just returned from the barbecue with my relatives. It was nice to see them; I haven't met my cousin and his American family in five years. Felt like visiting them in Colorado again. We talked about the Democratic convention taking place in Denver next summer. My cousin's wife started badgering me about finding a nice girl to marry. :D She does that every time I see her, and it's a very un-Swedish thing to do. I don't really mind (cause no one else does that to me in this country), but I told her to find me a nice American girl. She told me she'll find a nice Democrat. :D

The Shadow · Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:29 pm

Well if you can't find a nice girl in Sweden you must not be looking too hard. Although Finland has some very nice women also.

Stefan · Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:39 pm

The thing is that I'm not really looking right now. That's not really the point. But Laura (my cousin's wife) has it programmed in her head how life is lived. At a certain age you find a person to marry, then you have kids and so on. If you don't do it...then she wants to find out what you're waiting for.

The Shadow · Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:43 pm

Stefan wrote: The thing is that I'm not really looking right now. That's not really the point. But Laura (my cousin's wife) has it programmed in her head how life is lived. At a certain age you find a person to marry, then you have kids and so on. If you don't do it...then she wants to find out what you're waiting for.

That's a common idea among young Americans. My eldest daughter fell into that trap. "My biological clock is ticking, I must get married." Not the best idea. Things like love happen when they happen and IMO it is dangerous to force them. Don't fool with nature...she doesn't like that.

Beth · Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:41 am

Stefan wrote: No, we don't have access to any seas where we can hunt whales. We leave that to the Norwegians (and whenever they go after those poor, endangered animals, we let them know what we think about it).

God I love those wacky Norwegians! Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was kidnapped by some and forced to party all night on their yaght? Ahhhhh. Good times.............

Quote: My cousin's wife started badgering me about finding a nice girl to marry. :D She does that every time I see her, and it's a very un-Swedish thing to do. I don't really mind (cause no one else does that to me in this country), but I told her to find me a nice American girl. She told me she'll find a nice Democrat. :D

***Beth put's finger in throat and gags profusely.

Can't you find some normal Americans to have as family? What am I saying, they sound exactly like my parents.

Quote: My cousin's wife started badgering me about finding a nice girl to marry.

Translation: ".........and be just like us cause I'm......I mean WE are just so happy"

Quote: .......but I told her to find me a nice American girl.

Translation: ".......cause I have never banged an American. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't actually MARRY one, nobody MARRIES them, but I would have unholy and, from what the magazines say, "freaky-deaky" relations with them. Which is really the direction I am currently heading in life.

Quote: She told me she'll find a nice Democrat

Translation: "......She told me she'll find an ugly feminazi with glasses"

Beth · Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:09 am Re: Well, tomorrow I'll schmooze with Americans

Stefan wrote: When will you people come to see me in Sweden, huh?

Wait a minute, you Swedish puke, when are you coming to see us? As I recall, there are more of us than you. Plus, do you have any idea what it costs to fly to Sweden?

Try $1000 round trip. And that's just from New York. I am in Texas. Tack on Shadow and Homer and Maine and Dippy and Troy and whoever else you want to come and you are looking at around 10 grand you whiny tool!

Get your ass over here!

Stefan · Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:45 pm

Thank you for your interpretations. They were... interesting. :shock:

But, yes, that is a very parenty thing to do, whining about kids not getting married.

As for a trip, yes, it would probably be cheaper for me to go the U.S. than for you to come here. I am always seriously considering going back to the U.S. for another trip. But I'm not sure where to go. I could visit my relatives in Colorado again... or go to New York... or rent a car and drive through California, visiting vineyards, San Francisco, L.A., etc. I don't know. Should I go by myself or who would I bring? My brother would be great company, but he's a student and can't really afford a big trip like that. And, the right moment has to come. As it is now, with my short-term contracts, vacations can come too fast almost, leaving me little time to plan things. Or maybe I'm making up excuses rather than just go ahead with it.

There is something about your damn country that I can't shake. I felt depressed when I left Denver in 2002, and after yesterday's barbecue I immediately felt like visiting your country again. Well, we'll see what happens.

Beth · Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:42 pm

Why do you have to "plan" anything? I never make plans when I go to Europe. I just get the flight there and get the flight back. That and a general direction. Maybe there are some countries I want to hit before I leave, but no plans. I have a hostel card, a passport, a map and a credit card. There really isn't much more that is required.

Plus, I always meet somebody that I end hanging out with and I never end up where I thought I'd be. It's so much better that way.

Cali does sound like your cup of tea. You should just go there. Is your brother like you? I mean does he like wine tours and stuff? I would probably prefer hitting the pubs in London. A beer tour, if you will. That's actually next on my list of places to go.

And I think the fascination with America and Americans in general lies in this: We know who we are.

Stefan · Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:14 pm

I guess I need to plan it to a certain extent (not every move of course), which is why I can't just hop on a plane and see what happens. That does sound nice though, but I know myself well enough to realize that that option might not be best for me.

My brother and I are pretty similar. We got along great in Colorado, and yes we've talked about a California trip in the future.

Anyway, your last statement intrigued me. I'm not sure what you mean by that? My personal fascination with America is twofold. It has to do with all the movies and TV I watch, that has affected me a lot. Not that I don't realize there's a huge difference between movies and real life, but that part of your culture is truly in my blood. The second thing is social/political, a fascination for a country that's so young and successful and built on a great, modern constitution. Those two things appeal to my interest in movies and politics. It sounds geeky, and it is, but is also deeper than that.

I don't want you to misunderstand though. I'm grateful for being born in this country and on this continent. I feel safe, comfortable and fortunate and I don't believe the grass is greener for me in America. However, I could easily see myself have a good life on both continents. In my view, they complement each other nicely, and I can't stand people on both sides of the Atlantic (the far right in the U.S and the far left in Europe) trying to keep old rivalries alive for political reasons.

Beth · Wed Jul 04, 2007 7:06 pm

Stefan wrote: Thank you for your interpretations. They were... interesting. :shock:

Yes, I forgot to mention, I'm moving in a new, more artistic direction these days. I've decided to do something I like to call "Assertion/Response Image/Sensory Interpretive". It's basically where I cut through all of the BS of what everyone is saying and I translate what everyone is actually thinking with images and, of course my keen sense of omniscience.

It may be hard for some of us to handle at first, but in the end, I think it will give us all a more honest look at each other's view of the world. I will start with one of my own posts just to show you that I am not above self examination.

Quote: Why do you have to "plan" anything? I never make plans when I go to Europe. I just get the flight there and get the flight back. That and a general direction. Maybe there are some countries I want to hit before I leave, but no plans. I have a hostel card, a passport, a map and a credit card. There really isn't much more that is required.

Plus, I always meet somebody that I end hanging out with and I never end up where I thought I'd be. It's so much better that way.

Translation: "........Actually, booze is required. Lots and lots of booze. As long as you have that, it really doesn't matter where you end up. Why are you being so anal about travel? Were you abandoned on some family trip when you were a child? Do you plan your entire life like this? I was afraid to travel alone on my first trip to Europe, and then I hooked up with these really hot German guys and that fear lasted for about 6 hours. Of course, I can't say any of this in front of Homer because I don't want him to think I am a whoring drunk."

Quote: Cali does sound like your cup of tea. You should just go there. Is your brother like you? I mean does he like wine tours and stuff? I would probably prefer hitting the pubs in London. A beer tour, if you will. That's actually next on my list of places to go.

Translation: That is the faggiest vacation idea I have ever heard of. Is your brother like you? I hope not. Is he a fireman? I hope he is hot. If he is, please drop him off at my house before you go. Or send him to London while I am drinking my way through every pub in the entire city. Please let him be hot. Really, really hot.

Stefan's Really Hot Fireman Brother?

Quote: And I think the fascination with America and Americans in general lies in this: We know who we are.

Translation: I put this line in the post to confuse and bewilder you. It actually does mean something but I have no intention of explaining it, because the confusion amuses me far too much. You might actually figure it out; you're not a stupid man. But then again, you might not. Hee-hee.

Stefan · Wed Jul 04, 2007 8:38 pm

I'm not that anal about travel. I know people who almost never go anywhere. That's beyond anal, that's fear. Planning one's vacation is, I think, something most people do when they plan on getting something else out of their vacation besides drinking, which is something there is always time for anyway. What's strange about that?

And no, I for one do not plan my life. If I did, I'd be married right now, having kids and wondering which asses I need to kiss to make supervisor somewhere before I turn 40. I plan very little. The only goal I've had for some time now is that I want to keep making enough money to make sure I don't have to worry about it. I'm not talking about getting rich, just making sure I don't have to hesitate about eating out with friends or taking a trip somewhere.

"That is the faggiest vacation idea I have ever heard of. Is your brother like you? I hope not. Is he a fireman? I hope he is hot. If he is, please drop him off at my house before you go. Or send him to London while I am drinking my way through every pub in the entire city. Please let him be hot. Really, really hot."

Beth, Beth, when will you realize that we have little in common? Drinking through pubs in London? Yeah...that sounds about as much fun as drinking through pubs in Stockholm. OF COURSE, a wine trip to sunny California is more tempting. My brother? No. He's not a firefighter. And no. He's not Eric Bana. Do you only know boring, brawny men? Think Frasier and Niles Crane and you're getting closer to what we're like (at least in spirit).

8)

Beth · Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:03 am

Stefan wrote: I'm not that anal about travel. I know people who almost never go anywhere. That's beyond anal, that's fear. Planning one's vacation is, I think, something most people do when they plan on getting something else out of their vacation besides drinking, which is something there is always time for anyway. What's strange about that?

And no, I for one do not plan my life. If I did, I'd be married right now, having kids and wondering which asses I need to kiss to make supervisor somewhere before I turn 40. I plan very little. The only goal I've had for some time now is that I want to keep making enough money to make sure I don't have to worry about it. I'm not talking about getting rich, just making sure I don't have to hesitate about eating out with friends or taking a trip somewhere.

"That is the faggiest vacation idea I have ever heard of. Is your brother like you? I hope not. Is he a fireman? I hope he is hot. If he is, please drop him off at my house before you go. Or send him to London while I am drinking my way through every pub in the entire city. Please let him be hot. Really, really hot."

Beth, Beth, when will you realize that we have little in common? Drinking through pubs in London? Yeah...that sounds about as much fun as drinking through pubs in Stockholm. OF COURSE, a wine trip to sunny California is more tempting. My brother? No. He's not a firefighter. And no. He's not Eric Bana. Do you only know boring, brawny men? Think Frasier and Niles Crane and you're getting closer to what we're like (at least in spirit).

8)

Translation: "..........I am going to spend the majority of my post explaining in detail how I am not anal and then wrap up my argument by comparing myself and my brother to the two most pompously anal characters on television. Besides, I wouldn't let you within ten meters of him. My brother is refined, and I won't have you sucking out half of his brain cells with your "fun-girl" antics, you Vin Deisel-loving Pub-Ho. We have class."

The Hedmark Brothers

Come on, Stefan. I am well aware that you and I have nothing in common. I was asking about your brother. But if he is another version of you, then enjoy your grape tour. As for me: been there, done that, bought the crappy t-shirt.

Also, I know all kinds of men. Hell, I know you, don't I. And don't think you are any less boring than the next guy just because you can tell the difference between a Malbec and a Shiraz. Pretension is it's own form of pedestrian.

Write that down. :wink: